Presence Identified
In my previous article I told you my 20 year identity crisis ended the day I met my Uncle Dad. Let’s get into some back story…
Remember I said the narrative I created regarding Senior wound up being delusions of grandeur? My first recollection of these delusions began at about age 8 or 10ish. I remember saying mess like “if my Dad knew what you were doing to me…” or “if my dad knew what a horrible mom you are…” or “you’re lucky I can’t call my dad and tell him about…” and held him on a pedestal that would make Jack’s beanstalk have serious size envy. I told myself the reason my mother didn’t want me to find him is because she knew he’d save me from her.
Fast forward to 17. Thanks to the Independent Living Program, I had my own apartment. Finding my dad aka my knight in shining armor, came to the front of the line again. The lies I told to do so…it worked though so no regrets.
My first find was his father, then him and then my grandmother. Her I were locked in from jump. I am my grandmother’s daughter. Ask anyone who knows us. I am hers in temperament, personality and looks. My cousin who she raised even calls me Cousin Grandma.
Grandma told me about Uncle Rodger and my brother and in April of 1995, I met my brother who took me to meet my uncle who later took me to meet my grandmother.
Me, baby daddy, lil bro and maybe his mama (she mine now too now though) pull up on Uncle right…I extend my hand expecting him to shake it as I say “hi I’m your niece it’s nice to meet you” and almost died.
The first moment that man met me, he hugged me so tight I couldn’t breathe. When he finally loosened his grip, he looked me dead in my face, his eyes wet with tears, and said something that would change my life for the remainder of it.
“Wow! You look just my mother and I would know you anywhere. I’ve known about you for years. I love you and it’s so nice to finally meet you Niece.”
Just like that my absent identity became presence identified. Thirty one years wasn’t enough.